If lockdowns and stay-at-home orders are succeeding in slowing the spread of the coronavirus, health experts warn that the measures could unintentionally undermine efforts to contain another potentially deadly disease: HIV.
At the start of April, Travis Sanchez, an epidemiologist at Emory University, carried out an online survey of around 1,000 men and half of them reported a drop in the number of sexual partners, as well as reduced use of hook-up apps.
In theory, this should reduce transmission.
But he quickly added a disturbing warning: a quarter of the men said they had experienced problems getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases, because thousands of centers that used to provide them have closed down.
That means that those people still having sex have no idea about their status, which Sanchez warned is a potential ticking bomb.
“It’s very likely that people’s risk behaviours will resume before they will have full access to prevention services,” he said.
“And I think that combination could lead to increases in HIV transmission.”
The full impact of the pandemic on HIV transmission will not be known before next year, when the Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention publishes its statistics on 2020 infections.
But numerous experts and healthcare professionals fear a step backward, a year after the United States announced the goal of cutting the number of new infections by 75 percent by the year 2025.
In Washington, a city that has been hit hard by HIV, the Whitman-Walker clinic has had to stop its daily walk-in tests for the virus and other sexually transmitted infections like syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia.
“All those folks are going without testing,” said nurse practitioner Amanda Cary, who now only sees symptomatic patients by appointment. “I do think there’s going to be a rise in STIs,” she said.
The CDC told AFP it was expecting a drop in the number of STIs being diagnosed in the short term, “but an increase in the long-term once restrictions lift and more people are screened and tested again.”
It said that for HIV, “the decrease in the availability of testing and limited access to treatment and prevention services may result in more infections and poor health outcomes in the long run.”
– Everything can change –
In San Francisco, Doctor Matthew Spinelli worries about the homeless, or those who lack the connectivity to take part in the televisits that have replaced in-person visits to health centers.
“People are just scared of a hospital right now, so I’m pretty worried,” said Spinelli, who practices at the city’s largest hospital.
His clinic is also following some 3,000 people living with HIV.
He fears that in the chaos of the pandemic, some of them are not going to pharmacies or taking their daily medication, which could allow their viral load to shoot up and make the patients become contagious again.
“I’m worried that their mental health or substance use may be worsening in this environment and hence their pill-taking adherence is worse,” he told AFP.
In the United States, the use of the preventive daily pill PrEP, which allows those who take it to be almost 100 percent risk-free from contracting HIV during unprotected sex, has increased, but Spinelli reports that some have stopped taking it during the lockdown.
Which leads to the question: will they start again afterwards?
“On the balance it is probably going to worsen the HIV epidemic, that would be my prediction, both in this country, and worldwide,” Spinelli said.
But by forcing healthcare professionals to improvise, the pandemic will also bring about other lasting, positive changes in prevention strategies.
Telemedicine will become commonplace, for one thing. Needle exchange programs are already handing out more syringes at one time, and even shipping them out by mail.
The use of home HIV test kits, which have been around for years but have been under-utilized, will spread, said Stephen Lee, director of Nastad, an association of public health officials who specialize in HIV.
The CDC is pushing home-testing, and both Florida and Tennessee are considering implementing it, he told AFP.
“The pandemic has shown us that we can and should do it,” he said.
The Catholic Bishop Conference of Nigeria (CBCN) has offered all its 425 health facilities across the country as isolation centres for COVID-19.
Boss Mustapha, secretary to the government of the federation (SGF), who disclosed this at the presidential task force briefing on Monday said state governments can now take advantage of the facilities.
The Nigeria Centre for Disease Control (NCDC) had said no state in the country has enough bed spaces for COVID-19 patients, but with the recent donations, Mustapha who chairs the presidential task force on COVID-19, said these would add in the committee’s support for the state governments.
“As part of efforts to support the states in the establishment of the isolation and treatment centres, I wish to remind our governors that the Catholic Bishops Conference has volunteered all the 425 hospitals and clinics nationwide for adaptation and use as isolation centres,” he said.
“Governors are encouraged to please approach Catholic Bishops in their states to access these facilities.
“As a further cost-effective measure, I also wish to remind subnational authorities that the Nigeria Institute of Architects has pledged the pro bono services of their members to modify, design and supervise all COVID-19 related projects nationwide. Again, we urge that this offer be taken up speedily.”
The SGF also said the Thisday Dome treatment and isolation facility will be commissioned on Tuesday.
Nduka Obaigbena, publisher of THISDAY newspaper, had donated the facility to support the fight against COVID-19 in Abuja.
“It will add a total of 270 beds to our isolation capacity in Abuja. This is a private sector-driven initiative and we commend the efforts of this Thisday, NNPC, Sahara Energy Group, CCECC and all the partners involved in this enterprise,” Mustapha said.
President Muhammadu Buhari has ordered that Madagascar’s cure for coronavirus be picked up.
Secretary to the government of the federation, Boss Mustapha, who made this known during Monday’s daily briefing of the task force, said Buhari directed the presidential task force on COVID-19 to pick up the drug, which was sent to Nigeria.
The drug named ‘COVID Organics’ is for the prevention and cure of the disease.
It was gathered that the consignment coming to Nigeria has been dispatched to Equatorial Guinea from where it will be shipped to Abuja.
Speaking on Monday, Mustapha said Madagascar donated some of the products to Nigeria through Guinea-Bissau and arrangements were being made to pick them up.
He, however, stated that Buhari has ordered that the products be subjected to validation process after they have been picked up.
Rivers State Governor, Nyesom Wike has announced the temporary lifting of the total lockdown on Obio/Akpor and Port Harcourt Local Government Areas for two days only, with effect from Tuesday 12th May 2020.
Governor Wike made the announcement in a State-Wide broadcast on Sunday night.
He said that the total lockdown will be lifted on Tuesday 12th May, 2020 and Wednesday, 13th May, 2020.
Governor Wike said that the lockdown will be reinstated on Thursday, 14th May, 2020.
The Governor said all other established restrictions under the Executive Orders on social distancing were still in force.
According to him, “Consequently, we have given due consideration to the propositions on the way forward by well-meaning citizens of the State, and after a cautious review of the situation, decided to implement a partial relaxation of the lockdown measures, to enable residents to have some fresh air and replenish their foodstuffs and medicines.
“To this end, I hereby announce the temporary lifting of the total lockdown on Obio/Akpor and Port Harcourt Local Governments Areas for two days only, with effect from Tuesday 12th May 2020.
“All shops, supermarkets, and malls can open to the public for Tuesday and Wednesday, 12 and 13 May 2020.
“Similarly, all hospitals and banks can also open and provide full services to the public. Oil and gas companies are required to submit the list of their staff on essential duties to the Government; note that there is no ban on the lifting of petroleum products from depots and other receptacles.
“The total lockdown on Obio/Akpor and Port Harcourt Local Government Areas will be reinstated on Thursday 14th May 2020 and remain until further notice.
“Compulsory wearing of face mask or scarfs in vehicles and public places; closure of all land, sea and air borders and entry routes into the State; and closure of all open markets, including slaughters, hotels, guest houses, cinemas, bars and restaurants; and ban on gathering, including public burials, weddings, and religious gathering of more than 50 persons. Once again, thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
“Please note that our enemy is invisible; stay at home, maintain social distancing, wash your hands regularly and stay safe.”
He said every measure the State Government had imposed was dictated by an assessment of the State’s situation, the trend of transmission and the conviction that it was the right thing to do in the circumstance.
“As a Government, we are doing our utmost best, in the face of daunting challenges, to prevent COVID-19 from taking hold in Rivers State, to stop any possible community transmission of this disease before it is too late,” he said.
A Naval officer identified as SM Ahmadu reportedly fled from a Coronavirus isolation center in Oghara, Delta state.
The naval officer who was brought to the isolation center on May 1, 2020, escaped from the faciIity on Saturday, May 9 after threatening doctors and nurses with a jackknife.
Photos of naval officer who allegedly fled isolation center in Delta state after not being allowed to smoke weed
It was gathered that the naval officer allegedly fled from the isolation center after not being allowed to smoke marijuana. An eyewitness said;
“He came to the isolation centre with a knife, it was this knife he used to chase the security manning the gates before escaping.”
Governor Ifeanyi Okowa’s spokesperson, Ehiedu Anagwu said the naval officer has been reported to the military authorities. Naval personnel within Delta have also been told to be on the look out for Ahmadu.
Anagwu said;
“When they brought him into isolation, he started making requests for weed which of course they wouldn’t give him at the isolation centre.
“Usually, once in a while they allow the patients to step outside just to get sunlight and come back in. But this time around when they came out, he had a knife on him, you know being a military man, and he brandished it, chasing off the security manning the gates. That was how he left.”
The situation report sent out by naval authorities reads;
“At about 1500, SM Ahmadu U X13125 serving onboard BMU Warri absconded from COVID 19 Isolation Centre Oghara. His phone number is 09026268804,” the report read.
“It is suspected that the rating could find his way to any Naval or Military Base within DELTA AOR. Therefore, all personnel are advised to be mindful and report his whereabout to the OOD/MOIC for proper containment/evacuation protocol.”
A prophetess, Evelyn Owoleke, has been arrested in connection with the death of one Seun Olorunto during childbirth at the Cherubim and Seraphim Church, Bayo Ajao Street, in the Aboru area of Lagos State.
PUNCH Metro gathered that Olorunto was to be delivered of her baby in the church but allegedly bled to death.
The state Police Public Relations Officer, Bala Elkana, said in a statement on Sunday that Olorunto was found in a pool of her own blood when detectives visited the church, adding that the corpse had been deposited in a mortuary and the baby taken to hospital.
Elkana stated, “On May 4, 2020, around 7.50pm, one Olaloye Jolayemi of Ologundudu Street, Aboru, reported at the Oke-Odo Police Station that on May 4, 2020, around 10am, one Seun Olorunto, 39, died after she was delivered of a baby boy by one Prophetess Evelyn Owoleke at the Cherubim and Seraphim Church on Bayo Ajao Street, Aboru.
“Homicide detectives visited the scene and found the woman lying in a pool of her own blood, suggesting that she might have bled to death due to complications. The corpse was removed from the church to the General Hospital, Yaba, for autopsy.
“The infant was taken to hospital for medical examination and care. The traditional/spiritual midwife was arrested and taken to the SCIID, Yaba. An investigation is ongoing.”
In another development, men of the command have arrested four suspects in connection with the death of a domestic worker, Halimat Sodiq, in the Bariga area of the state.
PUNCH Metro gathered that Halimat’s boss, Shade Moke, had accused her of stealing N2,000 and reportedly invited three men to torture her in a bid to extract confession from her.
Elkana said Halimat died in the process, adding that the suspects secretly buried her at the Atan Cemetery to conceal the crime.
He stated that the suspects denied the crime when interrogated, adding that the case had been transferred to the State Criminal Investigation and Intelligence Department, Panti, Yaba, for further investigation.
“On Saturday, May 9, 2020, around 11.30am, the Bariga Police Station received information that one Shade Moke, 41, conspired with three others on February 29, 2020, and killed one Halimat Sodiq, 16, over an allegation of stealing.
“The victim was said to be a house help to Shade Moke. She was accused of stealing N2,000 from her madam, which she denied. The madam invited the other three suspects, who tortured the girl to death. “They buried her secretly at the Atan Cemetery in order to conceal the murder.”
Similarly, policemen attached to the Mushin Police Station have arrested one Owolabi Fasasi for alleged involvement in the death of one Taiwo Adekoya in the Mushin area of the state.
Elkana said Fasasi was attempting to dispossess Kausarat Owolabi of her three-month-old baby when he pushed Adekoya, who was pacifying him, to the ground.
He stated that Adekoya became unconscious and was taken to hospital, where she was confirmed dead, adding that Fasasi would be charged.
Nigeria has recorded 248 new cases of coronavirus, bringing the total number of confirmed infections in the country to 4,399.
The Nigeria Centre for Disease Control made this known via its Twitter handle.
It also said that no fewer than 143 patients have died from coronavirus-related complications in the country.
NCDC said, “On the 10th of May 2020, 248 new confirmed cases and 17 deaths were recorded in Nigeria.
“No new state has reported a case in the last 24 hours.
“Till date, 4399 cases have been confirmed, 778 cases have been discharged and 143 deaths have been recorded in 34 states and the Federal Capital Territory.
“The 248 new cases are reported from 17 states- Lagos(81), Jigawa(35), Borno(26), Kano(26), Bauchi(20),FCT(13), Edo(12), Sokoto(10), Zamfara(7), Kwara(4), Kebbi(4), Gombe(2), Taraba(2), Ogun(2), Ekiti (2), Osun(1), Bayelsa(1).”
More than a respiratory infection, Covid-19 wreaks havoc on many organs; inflammation and abnormal blood clotting are
Garvon Russell was having trouble breathing when he arrived sick with Covid-19 at a New York City emergency room. By the time he left the hospital two weeks later, he had battled the new coronavirus all over his body.
His lungs were inflamed, their tiny air sacs filled with fluid that made it hard for oxygen to get into his bloodstream. His kidneys failed with Mr. Russell in septic shock from his infection.
Then, when it looked like he had turned the corner, his bedside nurse noticed his left leg was swollen. Doctors found a blood clot in a deep vein.
Mr. Russell, a 67-year-old retiree, said he feels lucky to have survived: “It’s nothing to play with.”
As the number of Covid-19 grows, doctors are learning its damage can extend well beyond the lungs, where infection can lead to pneumonia and acute respiratory distress syndrome, the sometimes fatal condition Mr. Russell had. The disease can also affect the brain, kidneys, heart, vascular and digestive system. Some patients have sudden strokes, pulmonary embolisms or heart-attack symptoms. Others have kidney failure or inflammation of the gut.
Infection can affect the nervous system, causing seizures, hallucinations or a loss of smell and taste. It may affect pregnancies, though the science is nascent: The placenta of a patient who miscarried during her second trimester tested positive for the virus and showed signs of inflammation, according to a paper published April 30 in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
The virus’s strange effects go beyond anything doctors say they usually see with other viral infections. “It seems to strike so many systems,” said Maya Rao, a nephrologist at New York-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center in New York who is treating Covid-19 patients with acute kidney failure. “We don’t understand who gets it.”
Doctors are trying to understand what about the infection predisposes patients to so many complications. The number of confirmed Covid-19 cases world-wide topped 3.7 million as of Thursday morning with roughly 260,000 deaths, according to data compiled by Johns Hopkins University. The U.S. accounted for more than 1.2 million cases and over 73,000 deaths.
“Sometimes with very severe infections you can see things similar to this,” said Magdy Selim, a neurologist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, who is treating Covid-19 patients who have had strokes. “But not all this combination of things in one patient. These are really sick patients.”
Some patients are young and otherwise healthy. Some children, who generally don’t get very sick with Covid-19, have been hospitalized with symptoms similar to Kawasaki disease—an inflammatory condition typically affecting young children—with acute inflammation in their hearts and intestines.
The extreme inflammation that is a hallmark of the most severe Covid-19 cases is likely at play, doctors said. Inflammation can also cause blood clots, which doctors believe may be a common denominator spanning several complications. Physicians describe stunningly extensive and swift clotting leading to the strokes and pulmonary embolisms seen in even otherwise young, healthy patients.
The complications add to the mysteries of a virus that makes an estimated 10% to 20% of those who are infected severely ill, though more population-wide testing and studies are needed to know the true percentage. Most people who develop Covid-19 experience relatively mild symptoms—fevers, coughs, chills, fatigue, nausea, diarrhea, pinkeye—but for a minority, ailments can quickly escalate to a more serious stage.
Figuring out how to treat patients with Covid-19 is difficult because the virus is new, identified just at the beginning of this year, and its effects differ from those of other coronaviruses that infect humans. Patients are often admitted to the hospital when already very sick, significantly narrowing the window to save them, and there aren’t any medications approved to specifically treat infection with the new coronavirus. Some of these complications ultimately will be considered rare but appear more common now because so many people have gotten sick at once, doctors say.
Scientists are combing through piles of studies, and doctors are sharing experiences in real-time on Facebook and WhatsApp groups.
The inflammation at play in many complications is starting to come into focus. Immune-system cells rush in to kill infected cells. They also release molecules known as cytokines and chemokines that promote inflammation. The inflammation’s goal is to cordon off infected tissue, but too much can promote extra damage and create a “cytokine storm.”
Inflammation in the lungs can starve the blood of oxygen, depriving other organs, as it did with Mr. Russell, who spent eight days on a ventilator. Inflammation of the heart muscle, called myocarditis, can cause chest pain, shortness of breath and heart-rhythm disorders and scar the heart tissue.
Mark Gorelik, a pediatric rheumatologist and immunologist at New York-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center, has treated children and young adults with a condition resembling Kawasaki disease. While that condition involves artery inflammation, Dr. Gorelik said, these young patients have fevers, “a lot of cardiac inflammation” and sometimes a condition in their guts resembling colitis.
Genetic sequencing showed some patients have gene variants associated with a hyperactive immune response to viral infections, he said, yielding one possible clue into why some people develop serious complications, though such evidence is preliminary.
Doctors Tally Up the Ways Coronavirus Attacks the Body
Researchers are also studying complications possibly caused by a direct attack by the virus. A recent study in the journal The Lancet found evidence the virus attacks endothelial cells, which form a layer lining blood vessels and the heart. That makes Covid-19 a vascular disease as well as a lung disease, said Mandeep Mehra, executive director of the Center for Advanced Heart Disease at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, an author of the study.
“It might be that this is a disease that requires a combination of therapy that attacks the virus and that also stabilizes the vasculature,” he said.
STRANGE COMPLICATION
Among the strangest and most worrisome complications is how prone to clotting the blood of some Covid-19 patients seems to be. “Every time you have hyper-inflammation, you’re more prone to clotting,” said Andre Goy, a hematology oncologist and chair of the John Theurer Cancer Center at Hackensack University Medical Center. “This is not new…but what’s amazing is the extent of it.”
A study in the Netherlands found 49% of patients in intensive-care units developed clotting complications, mostly pulmonary embolisms but also some strokes. The risk of death for these patients with these complications was 5.4 times the risk for those without those complications, according to the study, published in the journal Thrombosis Research. “We were very much surprised by what we saw,” said Erik Klok, an internist and vascular-medicine specialist at Leiden University Medical Center, and lead author of the study. “We’re not used to this in patients with the normal flu.”
Doctors have seen some patients’ blood clot during dialysis, or while circulating in life-support machines, clogging the circuits. “They’re clotting off things that don’t usually clot,” said Lee Schwamm, executive vice chairman of neurology at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. “It’s as if you had sludge in your garden hose.”
At Mount Sinai Hospital in New York, a 44-year-old stroke patient’s blood started visibly clotting while surgeons were trying to remove a clot from his brain despite infusion with clot-busting drugs, according to Thomas Oxley, the interventional neurologist who treated the patient. The patient can’t speak or move his right side, he said.
Strokes happen when large clots in large blood vessels make their way to the brain, cutting off vital oxygen. About 5% of Covid-19 patients develop them, according to a study of 221 patients in China.
Patients are presenting not just with the more-common large clots that can lead to strokes and pulmonary embolisms, but also a constellation of small clots that block blood flow through the tiny blood vessels, known as capillaries, that deliver blood to all organs throughout the body. Some suffer from “Covid toe,” a painful, purplish swelling caused by clots in small blood vessels.
The International Society on Thrombosis and Haemostasis now recommends that any patient admitted to the hospital be evaluated for the risk of clotting and be given anticoagulants like heparin, according to Jeffrey Weitz, the organization’s president-elect. Thrombosis is the medical term for blood clots that form in blood vessels.
How Covid-19 infection makes blood more clot-prone isn’t entirely understood. But a growing body of studies suggests some patients have elevated levels of d-dimer, a protein produced when the body breaks down clots. D-dimer levels are a reliable indicator of Covid-19 severity, several doctors said. A study published by Chinese researchers in March in The Lancet found patients who died had higher d-dimer levels than survivors.
Clinicians think clots may be forming along walls of tiny and major blood vessels due to damage caused by inflammation or the virus itself. When the SARS-CoV-2 virus, as the new coronavirus is officially called, reaches the lung, it replicates rapidly, damaging cells of tiny air sacs called alveoli. That damage triggers inflammation, which leads the blood to coagulate, clinicians say. The damaged cells also release substances that activate coagulation.
A study of three patients who died from Covid-19 published in The Lancet showed evidence the virus can infect walls of capillaries that feed several organs, including the kidneys and small intestine. Pro-clotting proteins flood in to patch up the damage in a process similar to what happens when a scab forms—except the wounding persists internally, promoting more clotting.
“The high levels of d-dimer indicate the body is trying its darndest to break down the clot,” said Dr. Weitz. But “the forces to generate clots are overwhelming the capacity of the body to get rid of them.”
This runaway process wreaks havoc on the entire body. When micro-clots form in tiny blood vessels, they create a traffic jam. Blood can’t flow through the lungs’ alveoli, where blood picks up oxygen.
Clots can lead to heart problems, including reduced blood flow in coronary arteries. Some patients show signs of heart problems a week or so after developing blood clots that start in the lung, said Gian Paolo Rossi, chair of internal medicine at the University of Padua in Italy. The heart damage develops slowly, he said. “They do very badly.”
Clots are also one suspect in acute kidney failure, which is caused by inadequate blood flow and oxygen. Blood clots in capillaries may prevent blood from getting to the kidneys, said Dr. Rao, of Columbia. Other possible causes of acute kidney injury are shock or a direct attack by the virus, because the kidneys have the ACE2 receptor to which the SARS-CoV-2 virus binds to enter cells, she said. Patients include people who had healthy kidneys, she said.
As many as 30% of Covid-19 patients in the intensive-care unit at her hospital have required dialysis or consultation from a nephrologist, Dr. Rao said. That doesn’t include patients with kidney injuries that aren’t severe, she said. “We have seen an enormous amount of this in patients who are in the ICU with Covid-19,” she said.
Some people will fully recover. Others will need dialysis the rest of their lives, she said. “We’re not seeing a lot of recovery in the kidneys,” she said, “but we hope in the longer term people will get better.”
MR. RUSSELL’S CLOT
Other patients develop deep vein thrombosis, a life-threatening condition usually occurring deep in a leg vein. Mr. Russell, who has diabetes and high blood pressure, was improving in late March when doctors found the blood clot in his left leg. He had been on a prophylactic dose of a blood thinner, but it wasn’t enough, said Neha Dangayach, a neurocritical care specialist at Mount Sinai Hospital, where Mr. Russell was cared for.
He was put on a stronger dose of anticoagulants, Dr. Dangayach said. Given Mr. Russell’s health and the number of complications he suffered, she said, “he could have died.”
He is now at home in the Bronx. His kidneys recovered, but he is on blood thinners to prevent more clots.
A study published Wednesday by Mount Sinai researchers in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology found that treating hospitalized patients with blood-thinning drugs improved their chances of survival.
In a span of two weeks, Mount Sinai treated five Covid-19 patients under age 50 who had experienced a major stroke. None had clotting disorders, though one had a previous history of stroke. Normally, the hospital sees less than one such patient on average during that same period, according to a paper published in the New England Journal of Medicine in April.
Patients are often unsure when to call for help when they start experiencing symptoms such as numbness on one side of the body and trouble speaking, neurologists said. Some are waiting more than a day to call. The reason: Patients are being advised to call for help only if fevers or shortness of breath worsen.
Sagine Alexandre, 33, one of the patients described in the paper, had no history of stroke. She said she is slowly regaining movement in her left arm and learning how to walk again. She hasn’t seen her family in person since she went into the hospital on April 1.
“It’s hard to be going through something like this and not have any family or friends around,” she said. “I thank God for FaceTime. That’s all I have.”
Getting a girl to pay attention and like you can be hard enough — becoming her obsession is even trickier. To make a girl become obsessed with you, get into her brain and her heart by being her hero, minding your looks, making her laugh, and making her feel special. You’ll need to tailor your efforts to the girl in question, but keeping these basic principles in mind should give you an idea of where to start.
Steps
1
Be her hero. Whenever she is in trouble or worried about something, don’t just sit there with her. Acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers, and that you may not know exactly what she’s going through, but try to help make the situation better for her.
Ask her how you can help, but don’t insist that she let you. Be patient with anything she goes through and be supportive. When you can make a difference, do so without hesitation, but also cautiously, as you don’t want to hurt her in any way.
If she likes you already, go above and beyond the call of duty. Do something that she’d never expect you to do, like cooking her breakfast and then doing the dishes, and she’ll fall even harder for you. You’re showing her what you’re made of.
If she doesn’t like you yet, or you don’t know how she feels about it, play it cool. Be calm. If you’re the kind of guy who gets sweaty and stutters his words when he’s around a girl, then just calm down. Think of her as just your friend who happens to look different. If you can’t calm down, no sweat! Girls think it is adorable when guys trip over themselves. You’ll make her laugh in a good way!
2
Don’t fly too deep into the friend zone. Be friendly with her without always being available. Girls love guys who are a bit mysterious, so try to cultivate a bit of mystery — don’t always pick up the phone, let on where you’re going, etc. Be honest, but not always totally up front.
3
Pay attention to how you look. Your guy-friends probably didn’t care that you walked around in the same clothes you mowed the lawn in, but the girl of your dreams probably won’t be very impressed. Here are three simple things you can start doing right away that will help:
Shower and shave every day. If you’re not yet old enough to shave, don’t sweat it. You should be soon. Smell nice and look clean by showering or bathing regularly.
Wear clothes that actually fit. Not your older brother’s clothes; not your dad’s clothes. Wear your own clothes, and ones that flatter your figure. It doesn’t matter how much money you have — every guy needs a good pair of jeans, a fitting t-shirt, a simple but elegant collared shirt, and shoes to fit the occasion.
Get in shape. Lose that excess flab if you can and turn it into muscle. Most girls like guys who have developed muscles that aren’t so chiseled they’re intimidating. Find an intramural sports league that you’re interested in and go for it. You might even be able to impress your lady with your skills.
4
Be charming. You must at least have some kind of charm to appeal to a woman. Most men are charming in a couple different ways, but here are some charming ideas to think about:
Be a gentleman. This means opening doors, paying for a date, keeping your word, etc. Girls love to feel like a gentleman cares about them.
Be witty. Girls love guys who are great conversationalists, who can turn anything into a joke. Learn how to elegantly make fun of yourself.
Be intelligent. You should do your best to be well-read, informed about current-affairs, and curious. Women like men who are smart but still relatable.
5
Be reliable. Every girl wants a guy who, at the end of the day, is reliable — dependable not because he has to be, but because he wants to be. Being reliable is all about telling a girl that she has security with you. Try to be the most reliable guy you know.
Do what you say you’re going to do. If you talk the talk, walk the walk. Girls don’t like guys who say they’re going to do something and never follow through with it.
Be punctual. Even though some girls are late to dates, a girl hates it when she has to wait on a guy. To her, it says: “I don’t care enough about you to be on-time.” If you’re going to be late, let her know.
Have a good reputation. Be the guy that other guys want to vouch for. You never know whether she, or one of her friends, could ask around about you. And if she hears how you cheated on your ex-girlfriend, your reputation is shot and you’ll have to rebuild it.
6
Try to be funny: This gives the girl a reason to relax. A person is more responsive and receptive when relaxed. This is similar to being witty, but with higher importance. It helps you connect with her emotionally/intellectually. She should enjoy your company and not be bored.
7
Don’t be too pushy. It’s a turnoff when you’re always around her and touching her and flirting obnoxiously with her when she is not interested and has never shown any interest at all. Learn to give her the control, even if it’s only the illusion of control.
If a girl doesn’t want to make out, for example, or have sex, don’t try to force it out of her. That’s not the way to get her obsessed with you. Instead, listen to her wishes, understand why she has them, and respect them. You’ll get more bees with honey than you will with vinegar.
8
Have financial independence. Most women don’t care how much you make, or who your parents are, so long as you can provide for them. That’s nice, because most men aren’t blessed with wealth. Remember these things about money around women:
Women, like men, want to be spoiled some of the time. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but they like to be spoiled. Save enough money so that you can spoil her every once in a while.
Most women don’t like men who flaunt their money. If you have money, don’t flaunt it, because you just might scare her away.
9
Don’t flirt with other girls too much. A girl might really like you but if she sees you dancing or talking with another girl, that could be a deal breaker. Make sure she knows you’re interested in only her.
At the same time, have friends who are also girls. If you hang around friends who are also girls, she’ll feel safer around you because other women are comfortable hanging out with you. If you never hang around any women, it could be a sign to her that you’re illiterate when it comes to them.
Sometimes, women engage in a little competition — just like men! Therefore, it’s helpful to have other women around, provided you don’t get involved or flirt with them.
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Compliment her. Give her some good old-fashioned compliments. Don’t compliment her ability to do every little thing perfectly, or you’ll seem too needy or obsessive yourself. But a well-placed compliment can make a girl remember you for days on end!
Be sincere when you compliment. Figure out what you like about her best — what you think makes her most unique — and tell her. If it’s the truth, it will automatically come out as sincere.
Reinforce how she views herself. If she thinks of herself as an athlete, reinforce her competitive spirit or athletic skills. If she thinks of herself as a thinker, praise her smarts. Whatever she thinks of herself as, compliment that aspect of her the most.
Focus more on her personality than her appearance. If you have to get in a compliment about her appearance, stay away from the more feminine areas and stick to complimenting these:
Smile
Hair
Eyes
Lips
Clothes (style, appearance, etc.)
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Give her reasons to be reminded of you. Sing or hum songs, talk about movies, share favorite places. Anything that, when she hears/sees it again, will make her think of you.
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Balance your sensitive side with your masculine side. Girls like guys who are in touch with their feminine side without being girly at all. That means you have to understand where she’s coming from but still be thoroughly manly if you can. Learn a lesson from the following cues:
It’s OK to cry at a movie and to be vulnerable around her. Girls see this as you being comfortable enough around them to open up, and this will bring you two closer. Don’t listen to people who tell you girls only want masculine men.
It’s OK to dress well…but not too well. As discussed earlier, girls love a guy who can dress nicely. But as soon as the guy dresses nicer than her, that can be a big turnoff.
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Most of all, do not use guides such as this one literally. You should not make building a relationship with her a script. The most important thing to do when looking for a meaningful relationship is to relax around her, and let your true personality shine through. Do not force yourself to fit a stereotype. You’re better off waiting until you can find a girl who likes you, not a stereotypical “cool” guy. A relationship in which you can be yourself is much, much more meaningful than one in which you have to pretend to be someone else.
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Girls don’t always have the best idea about what they want. Be yourself and be a gentlemen. Let her do what she wants and act like you care about her.
Tips
Don’t keep talking for hours; give her a chance to talk.
Never insult her, especially if she is shy, and even if it is a joke, unless you know she will know it is a joke.
If she wants you to kiss her, and you know it, kiss her when the time is right, or she might get bored or think you’re not interested in being more than friends and move on to someone that will.
After you’re really good friends it’s a good thing on Valentine’s day to bring her flowers or something to tell her that you like her that way.
Don’t take your relationship too fast, take it slowly, let the girl realize that she is the one for you and take your relationship seriously meaning’s taking your relationship slowly and by telling her that she is the one and only for you.
Remember that the “friend zone” is just a concept created by society to punish women for denying a man.
Girls shouldn’t actually be ‘obsessed’ with you, you should just have mutual respect and love for her. Don’t just use her as an object of entertainment, treat her with respect and never ending kindness, because that’s the problem with some boys in this world: they don’t know how treat a woman like an actual human being, and not a playtoy.
If she doesn’t fall for you straight away it’s alright. People need time to filter their emotions. Give her time and don’t seem too clingy.
Spend quality time with her and get to know her. Be sweet, kind, smart and don’t flirt with other girls as this will make her mad.
Hang out with her and get to know her before you kiss.
Warnings
Never go too far when teasing a woman. Calling her fat or insulting her looks is rude and a turn-off.
Try not to talk to her all the time everyday. She will like the odd two days of talking, but if you constantly talk to her and try to force conversation, you will just annoy her. Ease off every now and then to show you’re not too clingy which in most cases is a turnoff, let her come to you.
Don’t talk to girls about other girls. Try not to gossip.
Some girls do get offended by “the chivalry stuff.” Make sure you know the type of girl you are dealing with. Some may see it as sexist, annoyingly nice, or it may seem like you are trying to assert superiority.
If a woman says she isn’t interested, back off. No means no.
